Slapyo.com

http://strydehax.blogspot.com/
http://strydehax.blogspot.com/2008/08/hack-olympics.html

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear … “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either … but at least she has an idea of how it feels.

2 in the pink, 1 in the stink
2 in the curtain, 1 for the hurtin’
2 in the fun, 1 in the bun
2 going down, 1 in the brown
2 in the Red, 1 in the Shed (if that time of the month)
2 in the slit, 1 in the shit
2 for the taco, 1 for her Paco
2 in the door, 1 on the floor
2 in the door, 1 in the gore
2 for the friend, 1 in the end
2 in the cunt, 1 in the runt
2 for the meat, 1 in her seat
2 in the flap, 1 in the crap
2 in the gear, 1 in the rear
2 for the pumper, 1 for the dumper
2 for the tube, 1 with some lube
2 in the cunt, 1 in the grunt
2 in the sock, 1 for the shock
2 in the junk, 1 in the trunk
2 in the girl, 1 in the swirl
2 in the cootie, 1 in the booty
2 in the porn, 1 for the corn
2 in the pink slot, 1 in the stink pot
2 in the juice, 1 in the caboose
2 from the hand, 1 for the gland
2 in the chute, 1 in the poot
2 for her, 1 for me!! Gross!!
2 in the pocket, 1 in the chocolate
2 for the Kitty, 1 in the Shitty
2 for the team, 1 in the steam
2 in the cunt, 1 up her ass