Slapyo.com

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. “So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob’s standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.

Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, “Ah, OK, sure, I’ll help you.”

The man asks, “Can you unzip my zipper?”

Bob says, “OK.”

Then the man says, “Can you pull it out for me?”

Bob replies, “Uh, yeah, OK.”

Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.

The guy tells Bob, “Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.”

Bob says, “No problem, but what the hell’s wrong with your penis?”

The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, “I don’t know, but I ain’t touching it.

What has 6 balls and rapes mexicans?

The lottery.