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I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a bit of a frown, ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked. I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

SHE FAINTED.

Boudreaux and Thibedeaux are on their way to Georgia to visit family. They are traveling the back roads through farm country when their truck breaks down (again). They begin to walk for help, but it’s late and the road is not well traveled. Both see the lights of a farm house, in the distant, and decide to see if they can rest there for the night.

Farmer Bob hears a knock on the door and answers. Bo and Thib introduce themselves and explain their situation. The Farmer agrees to let them stay on the condition that they not get involved with any of his 5 beautiful daughters. Bo and Thib agree.

Come next morning farmer Bob wakes Bo and Thib up with his double barel shotgun. “You two!! Out to my fields. NOW!!”

When they reach the fields, farmer Bob tells them each to take a wheel barrow and bring back 100 of their favorite fruit.

Bo comes back first, with 100 grapes. The farmer, with shotgun in hand, tells him to drop his britches and start cramming the grapes.

Bo starts cramming. He gets 25 in and starts laughing. They all fall out.

The farmer yells “Start Again!!”

Bo starts again and gets 50 in before he starts laughing and they all fall out.

The farmers says “boy you’d had best start again, and so help me, if you don’t get ‘em all this time, I’m gonna shoot ya.”

Bo starts cramming again. He manages to get 99 in and is working on the last one when he starts laughing and they all fall out.

The farmer screams at the top of his lungs “Dadburn it boy!! What in tarnation is so dang funny!?!?”

Bo points out to the field (while still laughing) and says “My buddy is out there pickin’ watermelons”

Three spealunkers were out looking for artifacts when they were caught by an acient tribal group. You’ve been taking our ancestors artifacts for years and now we’ve caught you. For your punishment we will give you two choices. 1) Death or 2)Boogabooga (butt humpin)

The first of the lunkers thought long and hard and arrived at the thought that boogabooga must be better than death and tells the head of the tribe “I’ll take, boogabooga.” So the tribes men went to town and each had a turn on lunker number one then let him go free.

The second of the lunkers seeing all this still decides that boogabooga must be better than death and tells the head of the tribe “I’ll take, boogabooga.” So the tribesmen have their way with him as well then let him go free.

The third of the lunkers has seen his share and has decided that death must be for him than having boogabooga for the first time and because he couldn’t live through what he has just seen. He tells the head of the tribe “I’ll take death!”

The lead tribesman says, so it shall be, DEATH BY BOOGABOOGA!