French Jokes
23 October 2007 @ 5:11pmFrench tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. The forward gear exists in case they are attacked from behind.
Q: Why do the French call their fighter the “Mirage”?
A: Because it’s never seen in a combat zone.
Q: How do you kill a Frenchman?
A: Slam the toilet seat down when he’s getting a drink.
“Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.”
–Norman Schwartzkopf
Q: Why do Frenchmen have mustaches?
A: To remind them of their mothers.
Q: What do you do if a Frenchman throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Parisian sauna. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound.
President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping stopped. The others looked curiously at him. “Oh, that was just my pager”, said George. “I have a microchip embedded under the skin of my forearm.” Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the ringing stopped. The Prime Minister explained, “That was my cell phone, chaps. I have a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. “By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of low-tech. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the sauna, but returned momentarily. When he returned, Bush and Blair both stared at him incredulously. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Frenchman’s posterior. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he feigned astonishment: “Marie sainte! I’m think I’m getting a fax.”
Q: How do you get a one-armed Frenchman out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
















