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A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what’s wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explains, “I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.”

The blonde says, “Don’t worry.”

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, “What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?”

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says, “Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.”

Three women — one german, one japanese and a hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The german pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped the others looked at her questioningly.

“That was my pager,” she said I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

The hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The hillbilly woman finally said, “Well, will you look at that, I’m gettin’ a fax.”

dontevergetthisdrunk.wmv (376 KB)

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

“What are you doing?” She exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.

“What are you doing?” He exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

“What are you doing” She asked.

He replied, “Watching the game with my son-in-law.”

bored.mpg (1.90 MB)