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An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to Heaven.

At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “because you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is to hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.”

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Of course, God recognized Arthur and commented, “Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?”

Arthur said, “Yeah, that’s me….”

God commented: “Well, what’s the big deal in inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes noise, pollutes and can’t run without a road?

Arthur was embarrassed, but finally spoke, “Excuse me, but aren’t You the inventor of woman?”

God said, “Ah, yes.”

“Well” said Arthur, “Professional to Professional, there are some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

“HUMMM, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.”

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

“Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours!”