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A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.

A few days later, he received this report:

MOST HONOLABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE.

I WATCH HOUSE.

HE COME TO HOUSE.

HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE.

I FOLLOW.

HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.

I CLIMB TREE.

I LOOK IN WINDOW.

HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.

HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.

HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.

I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OUT OF TREE. I NO SEE.

NO FEE.

SOLLEE,
CHEN LEE

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.”

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.”

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?”

The Government Employee called his cat and said.

“CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.”

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.