A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee and
a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”
Too funny.
I love this joke.
I love the unexpected jokes they really do make me laugh out loud.
Damn, that’s harsh.
this shits too funny! reminds me of my grandpa
Ha Ha! that was funnny. Good one
But in the morning, he’ll be sober.
I hear and read about how so many jokes about men, are considered, “male bashing”. Well, I consider this a perfect example of female bashing!
This joke to me illustrates exactly how women look too deeply into anything a man says.
(on a side note, I think my response sounded more like female bashing than the joke itself.)
Karen stop being such a C U N T
No Karen, you’re wrong. The gender here is inconsequential. You could have a joke about a drunk harassing a man, and it would be just as funny. The point of the joke is: only when you’re drunk you can say certain things out loud. If you want to find female bashing look elsewehere; there are plenty of examples. This is not one of them.
Karen, i belive its ugly bashing.
And who says the drunk is a guy?
just assuming that “the drunk” is male,
is sexist as you must think woman are perfect and never become alcoholics etc.
Anyskooch ranting aside,
Lmfao!
that was amazing haha
stumbled onto this, gave it a thumbs down and stumbled away. only hill billies and “boobs make me want to jerk off” would find this even remotely funny…
Sometimes only the drunk will speak the truth even when the truth hurts.
as a reply to karen’s comment, no this isn’t woman bashing. . . . this is UGLY bashing, hahahahahaha. if you’re ugly, i’m really, REALLY sorry and do apologize and take that back.
2 milander- what do boobs make YOU want to do?
The groceries was a red herring.
This joke has been flagged as un-PC and therfore is no longer funny.
You must cease and desist from laughing with immediate affect.
Failure to do so will result in humour.
That is all
Man, thats ugly
LOL, and not like one of those laughing quietly to myself. No, I literally laughed out loud
Genius!!!
Classic
Drunks usually tell the truth.
A great laugh to lighten the afternoon
gay
Harry is trash.
hehehehe!
this was totally unexpected as the response. people who think these jokes up must not have lives! to have your mind completely cleared of worry, wonder or just ordinary thoughts is unreal. go get um’ nimble minded creatures!
awesome!
“stumbled onto this, gave it a thumbs down and stumbled away.”
Lies. You posted a comment, didn’t you? You obviously stayed long enough to do that. And I would bet you even come back to read this.
funny
ROFL! I loved it! To the girls that had a problem with it… Lighten up,it’s f***ing joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROFL! I thought it was hilarious! To the girl with an attitude… It’s just a dang joke
I don’t wish to knock the content of the joke, I didn’t find it even mildly offensive, on a downside though, I didn’t find it mildly amusing either.
Nevermind.
Well.. i find all the replies as GAY-bashing? What if the drunk was a woman?
I cant believe there are so many comments about one small simple joke.
It was a funny joke but for people to have taken offence i think they are the sad cumstains with no life.
Get a life and along the way get a sense of humour to go with it.
Anyway i have joined the saddo’s and submitted a comment of my own now…. damn you people.
The people that find Jokes offensive are the sad cumstains that dont have a life.
Now why dont you go and get a life and along the way pick up a sense of humour and get on with all the normal people in this world instead of bitching about people with the other sad slimetrails.
Anyway i am also sad now because i have posted a comment on a page with a joke. Now that is also SA A AD.
Asta Lavista Dingo’s
And now even sadder because you can see that my first comment never got through and i decided to change it a bit which makes me uber sad to be taking so much care over a shitty pointless comment. GET OUT OF ME PAUL. IT HURTS!!!!
ARMAGEDDON!!!!
Heres something to balance the offence.
Men get ready to be offended… if your sad enough to be offended by a joke.
1. Men are like Laxatives ….. They irritate the crap out of you.
2 Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars … Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like . Commercials …… You can’t believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores …. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like …. Government Bonds …. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ….. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms …. You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like . Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Why does my comment always appear about 10 times. damn website.
Im gone!!
for now…
Every joke offends someone. They offend the minority and bring laughter to the majority. Deal with it. And kudos to you if you can laugh at it too.
Hey Tomation I loved your comments… What a legend!!
Why are you people criticizing this joke?? It is after all just a JOKE…
If it is offensive to some of you, then it probably means that you are like the woman in this joke…
I personally found this joke highly amusing…
XXX
I love your jokes tomation
Funny stuff everyone lighten up!!!!
WOW to fucking funny! My boy friend said that to some girl before we had sex
HAHAHA – too funny!
i just had the runs in my pants, and it smells and tastes funny. i think i’m going to get karen to come over and clewan it up w/ her face.
Ha Ha! I’ve been having a tough day but that sorted it out. Great joke
My only question is, If a joke can evoke such emotion as to cause you to be offended and need to tell everyone about it when it wasn’t even at your expense, how do you function in everyday life? Better yet, DO you function in every day life? Life’s rough, wear a helmet bitch.
Not funny. I work counseling drunks and addicts. Just because the guy is drunk doesn’t excuse him from being an ass.