A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee and
a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”
i keep my comment to HA
omfg ppl get tha fuck over it…. its jus a damn joke and it was funny jus b cuz u work wit drunk ppl dont make it less funny and to tha ppl that were offended b cuz of it get a damn life if it offended u then dont leave a comment who gives a fuck if u like it or not….. anyways…. i thought it was rele rele funny and to any1 wit a prob email me @ Red_Devil0801@yahoo.com….. tomation ur too funny loved ur comments!!!! and i so agree wit u!!!!
peace out bitches!!!!jk an btw it doesnt say that tha drunk was male…. so get tha fuck over it…. it couldve been male or female and im a female and i thought it was funny
haha! nice one…
it was funny, but it wasnt laught out loud funny.
Normally I wouldn’t ‘thumbs up’ this on stumble upon but to balance the one that claims to say ‘thumbs down’ and left, I felt like balancing it out!
I found this joke.. blunt! good, but not the best. It is also sad to see people who get ‘offended’ over silly little things. Remember ‘nutty professor’ movie, obese people were MAD at the show cause its showing of fat people (dinner scene).. remember Mr McGoo? Blind societies were MAD at that show.
It’s sad when everything MUST CEASE to prevent ‘offending’ someone. EVERYTHING we do may offend at least one person. I for one won’t stop in fear of offending someone. Besides, you can ONLY offend someone that is weak in character (a flake, a nut; a Wishy-Washy person). It is just as easy to be not offended as it is to BE offended. if you were ‘offended’ by this bawdy talk, simply click away and hold NO grudge… If your clicking into most pages offends you, maybe the internet isn’t a safe place for you to play around in and NOT for you. perhaps try watching Barny re-runs (where everyone loves everyone else and a safe place to hide out in).
ok, I’m done my rant.
ha i found this amusing
people calm down let people comment whatever they want about this
JEEZ
thats a rude mother fucker.
Here’s another recipe for you:
2 spoons of Interwebs + 50 morons = this page.
;P
This is one more reason not to get drunk…You turn into a meanie!
HOW can this be offensive?! If anyone should be offended it should be the men by the comments. There’s nothing in the original joke that indicated the drunk was a man, but everybody automatically assumed it was a man.
I loved the joke.
roflmfao hahaha
Heard better jokes than that.
Some of the comments though, were shockingly vulgar, offensive, rude, revolting, obnoxious, foul, gross and detestable.
Why the fuck do some fucking assholes have to fucking well swear the fuck out of every fucking thing they fucking say?
Bollocks!
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAGHA awesome. Tomation you rock.
lmfao
i agree with christopher
that was a perfect example of karen the douchebag
and if you were offended by this, you have no life and need to realize that if you have no sense of humor, DONT READ JOKES. you end up ruining it for everyone else. and sandra, you can suck my balls bitch. if you dont like the joke, leave now and dont come back. im done now.
peace
Read half way down the comment about male and female bashing.
How do we know the drunk wasn’t a hermaphridite? (if that’s how you spell it)
First!
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Not the greatest joke ever, but at 2:53AM (my local time, not the server time), it is somewhat amusing.
Almost every joke is offensive to somebody. There are gay jokes, lesbian jokes, blonde, ginger and brunette jokes (I’m a red-head), anti-male jokes, anti-female jokes, stupid people jokes, art major graduate jokes (appeal to me, I’m planning on an engineering degree), Jesus jokes. The list goes on…
Political Correctness has gone too far, there is a limit where PC meets reality. Like calling somebody black, it is a fair description. I have no problem being called white, I dont want to be called anglo-european, why should i call black people African-American? Plus that is assuming that they are both American and descended from Africa. Majority of black people in England are descended from west-indies people. And people from south africa, who can often be white, that live in america, can be called african american.
I’m done.
ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzz *splutter* ZZZZZZzzzzzzz…..
Its just a joke a f ****n JOKE, how can it affect so many people ?
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I would have to say, the comments here are more amusing than the actual joke itself.
…..but she WAS ugly…..
man, that was damn funny
lol … i like the surprising ending
shut up, karen
If she’s ugly when he’s drunk, she must really be ugly.
I found this joke to be in the poorest possible taste and extremely offensive! It is riddled with stereotypes and prejudice.
I demand that the above joke to rewritten, and the term “woman” removed. In accordance with the rules on gender equality that I have just this moment invented, I demand that the word “woman” be replaced by “non gender specific human”. Furthermore this joke is offensive to drunks, in that it implies they may act in the manner of one who is intoxicated! This is a vile prejudice! I demand that the word “drunk” be replaced by “non gender specific human whose forthrightness may be attributed to drinking, but equally may not”
As a concerned citizen of Somewhereimportantland, I have no foibles about forcing my beliefs on you; petty and ridiculous though they may at first appear, they will help to make this a better, more equal world. And they make me feel powerful and useful. If you don’t make these changes I demanded, then I will write to my local Government official, who will ignore me.
For all the women who were offended: How do you know that the drunk was a man? If you read the joke carefully, you’ll see that the sex of the drunk is not identified. Your automatic assumption that the drunk was a man is the only thing offensive here.
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Don’t question just laugh and take it in the nuts!
For all the women who are offended… you must be ugly too.
Its just a joke!!! Grow up!!! and Karen you must be the ugle chick in the joke to take offence to it!
Its a joke people. A joke. If you get offended by a joke. You should find other sites to hang out.
xyzabc – GOOD Job!!!
I have man boobs (moobs)
You know you’re ugly when beer goggles won’t work on you.
As a woman, I can honestly say that I can’t find ANYTHING remotely offensive to my gender in this joke. I suppose a real, hardcore, man-hating, bra-burning feminazi could misconstrue the punch line as reinforcing the beauty standard to which women are held. I, however, as a TRUE feminist, who believes in equality among the genders, rather than man-bashing and hating, feel it imperative to point out them males are increasingly held to a similar standard. Ugly men are judged just as harshly as ugly women these days. Therefore, the only group that could be offended by this joke are ugly people in general, regardless of their gender, however people do not like to admit that they are ugly, and therefore ugly people do not constitute a group of interest, as their membership in said group is not voluntary, and, in fact, many member do not realize or admit that they belong in said group.
VERDICT: Joke is NOT offensive, in any way shape or form. But it IS funny.
I agree with Karen, sad but true!
I say give me more jokes that offend so many uptight people….they’re usually the funniest!! screw the sensitive uptight wackos. Offend everyone please. Give me the funny.
lol E… good use of sarcasm.
this joke is what you take it as. if you want to be offended by it, that’s your prerogative. But most people, from the look of the comments, found it funny, and group consensus is one of the best (if not the only) ways to determine how funny a joke is.
btw…….. lol
sara got it in one. jokes are for fun, keep them in the spirit that they are intended, laugh at yourself and laugh at others, its all fair game.
not only was the joke funny it was also thought provoking, as the response has proved, the writer should be flattered.
I AM OFFENDED………that people are actually offended by this funny ass joke.
trolling is a art
well played!